👀 Apps/Tabs Outliner works surpisingly well - helps to maintain controlled chaos
00:16 ✍🏻 once again felt stuck, not understanding script material while preparing for TGI.
💫 then realized, that I repeated this mistake of getting stuck and banging against a closed door for far too long, instead of realizing, accepting, admitting, that it doesn’t work and trying to find an alternative approach.
In this case: this script sucks. I just need to find other books/ study materials to learn and prepare for the subject. those that will explain it in much easier and more understandable terms and even maybe make it more fun.
-> there are teachers that suck at explaining material in understandable form. just find other ones.
00:56 📅 👀 Anya is constantly distracting me. First by watching TV, then tries to force herself on me. So sick her being horny 24/7. So sick of her aimlessness, her lack of motivation, discipline, work ethic.
👀 she constantly bored, tired; fooling around, just wanting to have fun - all the time.
Says she tired and sleepy, not in the mood for anything serious.
so she craves stimulation because she is bored
plus tries to escape, to avoid facing the truth that her life has no meaning and that makes her depressed and empty
especially bc her self-expectations are so high. but the difference between what is and what should be is huge and it’s only growing
that’s why I suspected that she might have ADHD as well
❓ but maybe she just has no potential? maybe it’s not The reason? and it’s not failure to push yourself due to executive functions? maybe it’s the usual
kinda want, but not ready to put in the work (would be nice kinda way)
I guess that’s why, partly, I’m projecting a lot here
👀 ❓ it’s interesting, that even when she seems to be doing something productive, most of the time she is just reading some spiritual books
but from what I remember, it looks a lot like low key depression or something like that
first, bc when she is in the mood - she is active and productive, inspired and full of life
second, lots of things that she opened up to me about were just literally book-like symptoms of depression
and ofc it’s hard to push yourself to do anything hard when you have no why
02:43 spent 1.5h writing last post
Want to set up auto forwarding for gmail
Need:
15:58 👀 most of all motivation in studying appears when I understand everything
Думаю это связано с чувством прогресса, результата, роста
-> 👀 ❤️ The more I get my life together - the better, the more motivated, inspired to move forward I feel
-> tl;dr ⭐️ sense of competence, accomplishment and control -> keys to feeling fulfilled, calm and happy
plus feeling of human connection seems to be indispensable
{{TODO}} 👁 read one more time about plural forms (e.g. lesson subtypes or lessons subtypes) english/grammar
It feels like body activates once and only once it sees a direction, an aim.
{{TODO}} Google how APP are built up
When you are an addictive personality - for you it's always all or nothing.
Don't confuse your performance with who you are.
{{TODO}} try to play long motivational speeches like the 40m one with Les Brown
You have to constantly stress (aka exercise) your mind, because it's like a muscle and if you let too much time pass by in between - anxiety will build up.
23:10 ❤️ guess took too long to start. Now very tired, sad.
23:15 seem to get better after caffeine now.